find joy in all things..

invisible children..

2009-05-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

blog for a cause, people..

guys BIG NEWS! take the time to check it out.

http://www.invisiblechildren.com/news&press/news/detail.php?pID=235739135

invisible children is doing amazing things, as are resolve uganda, and enough!

our voice CAN make a difference.

This blog post is part of Zemanta's "Blogging For a Cause" campaign to raise awareness and funds for worthy causes that bloggers care about.

back to exams..

2009-05-15T04:32:00.000-07:00

so i have decided that i just take on too many emotions. and i am too often governed by them.

life just seems hard and stressful with exams right around the corner, the need for money that i don't have, missing a certain someone, battling sin, and just having life remain in dunmurry 24/7. i need an out. i just let frustration and sin pile up and get to a point where i feel like i can't handle it.

i need to remember why i do what i am doing. i have found it hard not to be jealous of paul's experience with invisible children and it has left me feeling useless. i feel like i have nothing to offer or contribute. and although i know that's not true, it is hard to keep that in perspective and think positively. i am so happy for paul, that he gets this amazing experience in london. and i need to remember that God has equipped me for great things and He has me right where i am for a reason. my time to get out of dunmurry will come, but until then.. i am here for a reason. i need an out, yes. but that out needs to come in peace and comfort and trust in Christ. somewhere along the line, that truth has been forgotten.

it is easier to say that than to do it. but last night i decided to stop being so selfish and self-absorbed. there will be less "i"s in future blogs, i hope. life is not about me. or what i get to do. it is about God and working for His glory and pushing through emotions and doing good even if i don't feel like it until that good becomes who i am. so i asked God to help me be less selfish and rude and more wise, understanding, steady, gracious, kind, loving, and respectful of everyone. i do not doubt that God will help me become a woman that just loves God and loves people. and despite the hard time i am having right now, i have complete faith that i will get better. God will help me and i will make it through these exmas. God will provide. and God will use me right where i am, no matter where that may be.

just need to trust in God. He will deliver and love and provide. i know it.

by the way,,

2009-04-18T07:22:00.000-07:00

therescue.invisiblechildren.com

PLEASE COME TO THE RESCUE!!

wherever you are, there is one near you. check it out.

it is worth one day of your life.. or at least 5 minutes of your time to look into it. (:

here we go again..

2009-04-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

easter break is over. back to classes. back to assignments. then exams. blah.

last week was really great. but this past week i have been back into it all. did an assignment and now i have to get cracking on two more. classes start up for me on tuesday and i am just reeeeeally not looking forward to it. for some reason this degree has taken a tole on how i feel about myself. about life. about everything.

just praying that i will keep the joy that i got back last week and keep going strong. i don't want to go back to the way i felt before that moment on the beach. i want to keep growing and keep learning and keep loving God..

i will not give up though. i will keep striving for what is good.

progress..

2009-04-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

so i have come to the realization that progress is good. i know that sounds really stupid.. but i just think it's a profound thing for me. for the past year and a half or so i have really been struggling to make progress. i have been stuck in a rut and hating it. i mean life has been going forward and there are several aspects of my life that i love.. but the most important aspect? my spiritual life.. that part of life that should hold every part of my life together has just been shoved to the side. but this past week has changed all of that.
i think i finally just broke down because i have been so tired. tired of struggling to love God in a real way.. struggling financially.. all of it. i am just tired. but there was a moment on the portstewart strand where i decided to forget about all of that, if even just for a couple of minutes. and as i sat in the sand, looking up at the clouds stretching across the sky.. i remembered. i remembered that GOD... GOD loves me. not just some guy... GOD. and for some reason.. well i know why (it's GOD!).. that is enough. it became enough again. with the sun peeking it's rays through the clouds i felt real joy again.
the next day i was walking home from the train station and i saw my first blowy dandy of the year. such joy came rushing back into my heart.. into my soul. i know it seems silly that a weed would help me feel joy inexpressible and to fall in love with God all over again.. but God used it and i feel so much better. some real damage has been done to my heart over this past year but i am making progress.. which is good.
i am not who i need to be but God is helping me with that and i am so thankful. my wonderful boyfriend, Paul, told me about this devotional type thing from a that has proved to be so helpful in the progress i am making with God. it is called examan, http://www.marshill.org/pdf/sp/PrayerOfExamenLong.pdf
you should check it out!! take the time to make progress.. no matter how far you feel from God, know that He is here. and He loves you.
and let that be enough.

so..

2009-03-16T05:52:00.000-07:00

i haven't been on here in a really long time. sorry about that.

but i think you should know that i got a job in dunmurry! God answered that prayer and for that i am so thankful!

other than that.. life has been.. ok.

it's been a struggle to be honest. just trying to keep moving forward. there are aspects of my life that are amazing but there are also aspects that make me feel a real sense of despair. why can't i just stay on the right path? at times i feel so far from God.. this past couple of years i have just been a reed blowing in the wind and i can't seem to stay up..

but one of my best friends reminded me that God doesn't think of me any differently because of it. He still loves me just as much as He did before i was struggling.. and will continue to love me that much forever. that is a blessing. a God that doesn't let go or give up on His child just because they haven't been doing very well.. His love is not conditional and that is what we need.

so take heart. no matter your struggle, He knows the way you take. He knows you and loves you just the same. what big love.

what big love.

credit crunch..

2009-01-31T03:50:00.001-08:00

boo to the credit crunch, i say!

i don't have many hours at my job at avoca.. they needed to stop giving hours to part-timers. in fact, i have 4 hours today, and i work monday but after that i got nothin.

so i went job hunting today in dunmurry and NO ONE is hiring. so sad.

pray that God will provide. i have no money. and no real promise of work.

so please pray that God will provide for me. and maybe even get me a job in dunmurry. (: thanks.

famous..

2009-01-21T06:06:00.000-08:00

http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/uk_national_news/4062566.Ex_pats_cheer_in_new_president/
http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/0121/1232474671128.html
http://www.thisisthewestcountry.co.uk/uk_national_news/4062387.Ex_pats_cheer_in_new_president/
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7784669.stm
(the last one I’m in the background in the right hand side about 2:20 minutes in)

went to my university for this big inauguration thing yesterday and had lots of press! check it out. (:

it's amazing..

2009-01-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

how God works things out. my heart has been aching for Uganda for a while now.. just Africa in general. i want to help and love people there so badly it hurts. it's cool when God answers prayer.

invisible children is an organization that is helping the people of Uganda and trying to end the war that has been going on for over 20 years. they're going global this tour and i am going to be a part of it! they're coming to belfast and my boyfriend (paul.. who is just amazing) and i are setting up screenings and things here. i can't believe it. i have been praying so hard that God would show me how to help. instead of a ticket to Uganda (like i half expected), he brought a way to help where i am.

overwhelmed by His goodness and His provision. thank God for what He is doing through His people to bring peace and justice. please pray for the people of Uganda. pray for invisible children. and act! they will be doing something near you, i am sure. look into it! invisiblechildren.com

it is worth your time!!

one down..

2009-01-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

two to go.

i took my first exam and feel really good about it. that was monday and i have another one tomorrow. it's funny how quickly the overwhelmed feeling goes away. thank God for that.

i am. He just washed peace over me.. even over something as temporary as exams. His glorious peace is one of the most beautiful gifts.

just really thankful for His unfailing goodness and love. what a wonderful God.

what would i do without Him?

exams..

2009-01-06T07:07:00.001-08:00

right. so it's been a really long time since i've been on here. sorry about that if anyone actually looks forward to what i have to say..

i am currently studying for exams. my first exams at queen's university in belfast. i am scared. everyone says i'll be fine, and i know i will be. but revising really sucks. i am nervous and i feel like i won't know anything. i have a bad memory, especially about scholars... and that's the most important thing for exams. i am just not looking forward to the next few weeks. please pray that God will help me to be patient and calm and that He'll help me to remember things and to revise for the right topics in the right way. oh gosh..

no more shame..

2008-12-09T11:57:00.000-08:00

so.. i've been reading leviticus. it is mostly about sacrifice so far.. this animal for this sin, how it should be done, and so on.. sounds boring, right? like it doesn't apply to us? well.. yes and no. it is actually really good to read. now.. my theology on this could be wrong, and probably is so i'm sorry for that but sure.. here are my unstudied thoughts anyway.

one thing that has really struck me is the idea of being "unclean." leviticus goes through what makes you clean or unclean and if you are unclean, it explains the sacrifices needed to make you clean again. the conditions are often harsh and being unclean means you are excluded from the camp. in reading through all of this, it all just seems so unfair. for a leper that can't help the fact that they have a disease to be cast out and "...remain unclean as long as he has the disease. he is unclean. he shall live alone. his dwelling shall be outside the camp." (lev 13v46) when i read that i kind of felt angry. it doesn't sound very just. i understand that God is holy and cannot be with sin and disease is a part of that. disease was not intended. but it seems so unjust because they cannot control it. but as i keep reading, and take in the whole text, it reminds me of just how good Christ is.

Christ did not have to die for our sins, but He did. and all of this business about being unclean does not apply to us anymore if we have Christ. i believe that from birth, we are unclean with sin.. but for those of us that are children of God, at some point the beautiful thing that is grace intervenes and God breathes life into us. we are made clean through the blood that Christ shed on the cross and we do not have to be ashamed anymore. what shame the lepers must have felt, even if the disease went away and they made the proper sacrifices to be able to come back into the camp, they still must have felt shame.. i mean, read leviticus 15 where it talks about bodily discharges. you make people unclean just by touching them! "sorry, but i just touched you, so now you are unclean as well because i..." well you know. read it for yourself. but we are not subject to that anymore. we are free from the law in Christ. we are under a new covenant.

what beauty.

what joy.

what freedom we can find in the grace of the cross.

what a day..

2008-12-03T11:56:00.000-08:00

so today i feel really accomplished. i finished my last journal entry for my pastoral theology class. we did a journal throughout the semester instead of doing an essay which was awesome. so there's that. and i am done with my essay..well i finished it on tuesday but i printed it out today so it feels official...

wow. i was going to write a really nice blog and maybe even reflect on my life or something but i just took nyquill and am already feeling drowsy/loopy... and i still have to walk home. crap. i should go.

postponing..

2008-11-26T05:56:00.000-08:00

it is so easy to sit on the internet when you need to do work.

update..

2008-11-22T13:48:00.000-08:00

so here's an update for those of you who aren't on my side of the pond!

not a whole lot going on.. but this tuesday was my birthday and it was awesome. my housemates put up signs and balloons and in the evening we went to chili's with some friends. my wonderful boyfriend, paul, got me a polaroid camera !!!!! wow.. i was so excited. (: [thanks love] and val, steph, and andrew got me a stuffed animal (a penguin that dances!! i named her shaquita, lucy for short).. both my sister and my parents sent me packages with loads of goodies in them. it was so lovely. steph even made me a cake!! just all around a good birthday. (:

been working more, seeing as it's the holiday season. i work at a shop called avoca. it's pretty cool. love working there but can get pretty tired after a full day of running around!

college is good. different this year, degree is a whole new ball game. just a lot of "this scholar says this" going on. boo. i would rather talk about what i think or how i feel, not what some dead guy thought 100 years ago.. but sure. ha... no i do like it for the most part. essays are a pain, but aren't they always?

going to church at a place called glenabbey which is really good. all the people there are so nice!!

hmm.. what else.. i went to the international Christmas market in belfast city centre tonight. it was so fun. got a few Christmas presents and ate a half of a kangaroo burger and half of a venessen burger with val. not bad.

yep. that's what i've been up to. (:

invisible children..

2008-11-17T13:11:00.000-08:00

so tomorrow i am speaking at school for world focus. every tuesday students (well.. not all the students.. eh) meet for an hour and learn about a different country and what all is going on and then break up into groups and pray for different parts of the world. it's pretty cool. every week someone different leads and tomorrow i am leading it. i am going to speak about uganda and an organization called Invisible Children.

please check them out and let your heart be moved by their story. there is so much to be done to restore uganda. pray for them!!

the cross..

2008-11-06T03:47:00.001-08:00

so this morning i have been listening to sermons about the cross, this series by francis chan. it has been pretty amazing to think about the truths of the events leading up to the cross. i ask you today to think about the kind of sacrifice that Jesus made. think about the fact that God had to watch His Son sweat blood in agony over what He had to do for us, while He pleaded in the garden that it could be done some other way. or remember the way He was sent from pilate to herod and back to pilate just being mocked and beaten over and over and although no fault was found, a murderer was set free instead of Him. Jesus knew this was coming. yet He did not back out. He knew that it was necessary for our redemption so He went through with it. be thankful. tell Him you are thankful and if only for a moment, COMPLETELY focus on the Creator who came to earth and died that you may have life.

this is beautiful.

i don't know what to do with a love like that.

PRAISE Him. with all that is in you. remember Him.

You never let go..

2008-10-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

so today the only song i can think of is david crowder's "You never let go."

i started off my day reading a chapter from the solo Bible. it is really cool. goes through a section of scripture and helps you to "read, think, pray, live" and gives you a paragraph of each with things for you to do.

anywho.. the one i chose today was about when God let moses see His glory. pretty amazing. the "read" section for the passage suggested going through slowly and really thinking about one or two phrases or words that reveal a bit of God to you. what stuck out to me was when God asked moses to come RIGHT BESIDE HIM. i thought this was really beautiful and it reminded me of how much God likes us. He loves us enough to not give up on us when we keep chosing sin over Him.

He doesn't let go. ever faithful. ever true. the God that created the earth wants us right beside Him and He is not willing to give up on or let go of His children. let us be thankful.

o what joy.

o what love.

my soul fills with hope.

He never lets go.

You never let go.

motivation..

2008-10-27T08:56:00.001-07:00

it's amazing how you can be so ready and pumped to do something and then somehow it just leaves you. i just did 1100 words of a 1500 word essay and i can't get back in the zone after a long lunch break. lame. i need to get to it. only 400 words to do. i can do this!!

blessed..

2008-10-25T04:53:00.000-07:00

the past few days have been a true gift from God. just really enjoying the people around me and have been deeply reminded of how much i am blessed.

i think it is one of the most important things we can do for our souls- to sit down and think about the condition of our hearts and where we are with God. lately when i sit down and think about things, i feel really content.. which is so amazing because last year i was so unsure about everything. as much as i tried, i couldn't get my act together with God. i was a reed blowing in the wind and i needed to own where i was in order to move on but i just tried to be ok without dealing with anything. thankfully, a man i greatly respect told me to "move forward" this summer. for some reason, when he said this, something clicked in my heart. i sat down with God and talked seriously about things and owned the fact that i wasn't where i needed to be. since then i have really been trying to do well, trusting God that He knows what's best for me and that He loves me more than i can fathom. it is so important to ponder the truths of this God that we serve. it will humble you and remind you of why you started this whole "Jesus thing.." in the first place. God is so good and has blessed us all so much. we deserve nothing but have everything offered to us in Christ. beautiful.

sunny days in northern ireland..

2008-10-24T03:17:00.000-07:00

are not that common. please get out and enjoy it!!

made in the image of God..

2008-10-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

class today was pretty great. you see, i am in this module called "introduction to pastoral theology" and it is absolutely amazing. today we talked about the image of God and focused on community. this idea of man and woman being made in the image of God just blows me away.

the thought that i, in all of my brokenness, still bear the image of the Creator of the universe is so incredible. in Genesis 1, God said "let Us make man (in Hebrew the word for man is the generic term for mankind, so that may help your thinking a bit for this idea of community) in OUR image, after OUR likeness... so God created man in His image... male and female He created them." wow. trinity. God's complete image is that of community. Father, Son, and Spirit, living in perfect unity and submission. and when He created us that was His plan for His people. man and woman were made in His image. on our own, we are not the complete image and that's really beautiful. to me, that says that we are not made to be alone. we are made to live in community. we are called to live in fellowship. man and woman are the image of God and when we come together, living in unity and submission to one another, we bring glory to God because we are living as He created us to.

that's all fine and good and it is something lovely to think about, just like most theology.. but it should change the way we think and the way we live. i want to always remember that on my own, i am not complete. i need God and i need people. and i need to love people better than i do right now. we are all made in the image of God and that is something that demands great respect. i want to love every person i come into contact with and remember that their Creator loves them, too.

a new beginning..

2008-10-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

so i feel like it's quite silly to assume that i am interesting enough to have a blog. but i thought it could be fun for the people in detroit to read and see where i'm at and how i'm doing with things on the other side of the pond.

also i think it would be good for me to just have another outlet to think things through. i have benefited from reading others thoughts in their blogs so maybe you can get a little something out of mine. we'll see.

sorry if it's not interesting or anything. but sure. :)